


One Night On Q'onoS Can Make A Hard Man Humble

by Aegis_Di



Category: Star Trek, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Klingon, Light BDSM, M/M, Other, Punishment, Rare Pairings, Snipers, Space Marines, Starfleet, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-05 22:56:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21216416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aegis_Di/pseuds/Aegis_Di
Summary: Master Sargent James T Kirk and his partner Corporal Luke Sky Walker have been sent to the surface of Q'onoS to observe and report on General Chang's movements.  But after some excessive initiative, and one dead Klingon General later, the poor Sargent finds that the Captain of the USS Enterprise, Captain Spock, is less than pleased with his actions and has ordered him to return to the ship for disciplinary proceedings.





	One Night On Q'onoS Can Make A Hard Man Humble

**Author's Note:**

> This is entirely for ohgodmyeyes, so that their Kirk/Skywalker Rareship won't be lonely anymore.
> 
> I know it's bad, and waaaayyy off canon. It's supposed to be. :-P

**Two farmboys shooting the shit!**

“Winds 5-6 km, North-To-North-East. Range, 2.1 Klicks.” Starfleet Marine Master Sargent James T. Kirk reported.

“On Target,” Starfleet Marine Corporal Luke Skywalker confirmed through the recticle of his Mk VI railgun.

“Target is drinking bloodwine. Big surprise there. Ooo And he’s smoking a stoogie, too, the bastard. Looks like a Tellarite blend, maybe a ‘47.” Sargent Kirk observed through his power scope.

“How can you even tell it’s Tellarite, much less it’s year?” The blond Corporal asked, his breathing steady as he lay on his shooting mat.

“It’s the blue sparks hidden in the ash that give it away.” Kirk confided, “I want that cigar!”

“They’re not good for you, you know.” Skywalker pointed out, “And they taste terrible.”

“They taste like heaven on Earth, Boy. You should try one. You’d like it.” Kirk promised him.

“No thanks. They taste awful, second hand.” The young marine wryly responded, never taking his eye off his target.

“Hang on, he’s raising the goblet higher. He’s almost done. Take the shot!” He instructed the younger soldier.

“Patience, Master Sargent, patience.” Skywalker counseled.

“Patience, my ass! He finishes that blood wine, he’ll go back inside, and we’ll loose our chance to take out General Chang! His coalition’s been getting too vocal for Starfleet’s comfort, yah know. They won’t be happy if you miss this opportunity.” The older soldier admonished him.

“I won’t miss.” The Corporal assured him serenely.

“Yeah, that’s what you say. But look, he’s tilting it up, like he's draining...” Kirk had his eye glued to the spotting scope.

**WHAM!!!!**

The railgun fired with a gout of flame and metal particles, as the Sarium Krellide power cells launched the tungsten carbide/duranium anti-personnel flechette down the parallel launch rails at three times the speed of sound, the crack of it's passage lost in the rumble of evening thunder rolling across the capital from the black storm above.

As Kirk watched through his scope, he could trace the glowing round’s flight through the dark Q'onoS night sky, flying for just 2.25 seconds before impacting on the base of the blood wine goblet, exploding it into shards before reducing Chang’s head to a squirting stump that quickly dropped out of view.

“Ooo! Lucky shot!” He congratulated the Corporal who was already in the process of breaking down his railgun and packing it away in it’s case.

“It wasn’t luck. It was the Force.” Skywalker pointed over to the Klingon Imperial palace, “This way the Klingon security forces won’t know the exact trajectory of the shot that killed him, since it was the goblet that took the brunt of the impact and expanded the round before it struck his head.” He explained somewhat prickly.

Kirk grinned at the spirit of his younger partner, “Still, it was a good shot. Let’s get back. Drinks are on me tonight.” He promised.

“You buying?” Skywalker asked as he rolled up his shooting mat.

“Humm” Kirk considered, “Sure! I’m fairly certain I can get the replicator to cough up some milk for ya.”

“Okay! That tears it!” Skywalker sat back on his knees, his fists on his hips, “Just for that, you’re sleeping on the wet spot tonight!”

Master Sargent Kirk grinned as he picked up his spotting scope. Pressing the support tripod’s button, it automatically collapsed into a carrying bundle. He whipped out his communicator, and spoke into it, “Kirk to Enterprise, two to beam up.”

A moment later, a cold voice came over the speaker and asked, “Kirk, has there been a change in General Chang’s situation? Have you lost sight of him? Sensors still show his comm unit on the balcony.”

“Um… Yeah, you could say that. We lost sight of him after Corporal Skywalker’s anti-personnel flechette vaporized his head.” Kirk smugly assured him, “You can tell the diplomatic team that the dearly departed General won’t be causing Chancellor Gorkon any more problems. The negotiations can go ahead without a problem now.”

“DAMN IT, JIM!” Captain Spock screamed across the communicator, “Who ordered the shot!? You were to observe and record only. No offensive actions were to be taken!” He demanded to know.

“Um, I did. I saw the opportunity, and ordered the Corporal to take the shot. It was logical, since he was holding up the negotiations. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one, ya know?”

“Master Sargent, you are quoting me out of context! Stand by for transport! I will deal with your insubordination shortly!” The Captain of the Enterprise cut the comms to the two marines.

“Ooo You’re gonna get it!” Skywalker crooned.

“What did I do?” Kirk gestured, “I just took some initiative is all!”

“Oh, like you did when you cheated on your Starfleet Academy exams?” Skywalker just shook his head, “After that you were lucky that the Marines were willing to overlook all that and take your sorry ass.”

“Hey, My stellar ass is still intact, thank you very much! I’ve saved these negotiations! Those pansy waisted diplomats just need to suck it in, tighten their belts, and get to talking! Enough of this pussy footing around with Klingons.” Kirk indignantly stated.

“Oh, I know it’s stellar. I admire it ever night. The Captain will too, speaking of belts.” Skywalker pointed out mischievously.

“What are you talking about?” Kirk demanded to know as his younger companion came over to stand next to him, waiting for the transporter to lock on to them.

“Oh… He’s gonna march you straight into his quarters, turn you around, and yank down your pants.” Skywalker told him with absolute certainty, “Then he’s gonna bend you over the couch while he takes off his belt, and beats your insubordinate ass bright cherry red. I wonder if he’s gonna make you shout out ‘I’m a bad, bad, boy! Please forgive me, Daddy Spock!’ with every stroke.” Skywalker stroked his hairless chin as he contemplated the Master Sargent’s impending punishment, "Foresee this, I do!"

Enraged, Kirk turned and stabbed his finger at the younger man, “Listen you fuzzy faced infant, I am NOT that pointy eared bastard’s BITCH BOY!” He screamed at the Corporal.

The rest of his tirade was lost in the whine of Enterprise’s transporter beam.

**Author's Note:**

> Let the flaming begin!


End file.
